As humans we thrive on communication and relationships and yet our primary relationship, whilst often the source of so much pleasure, can also cause a lot of pain. When we are in this situation we often try to improve things over and over again only to ultimately make matters worse leading to us to question whether the relationship is worth the effort. Where did all the love and fun go?
How Does a Relationship Develop?
We all know the wonderful feeling of a new relationship, it is usually idyllic with everything being exciting and just perfect, or so we think. The infatuation stage is easy to navigate and takes little or no effort but a maturing relationship is a whole different ‘kettle of fish’ and requires a totally different skill set. This stage in itself can often be a painful learning curve and if it takes too long it can easily get locked into patterns of behaviors that make change more challenging. This stage definitely requires a concerted effort by both parties simultaneously.
Emotional Intimacy – This part is often taken for granted when too people become close, however, some people find this difficult. Not everyone finds it easy to get emotionally close to others and just because you are in a relationship does not make the task any easier. This can often cause a great deal of pain and suffering on both sides.
Accepting Imperfections – Cupid’s arrow literally shoots ‘love serum’ into our veins and we think our partner is perfect in every way. We are blinded by clouds of infatuation which hide imperfections from our psyche. Once the mist has lifted and the serum has worn off, those inevitable imperfections can be seen by both parties. This is a dangerous time for any relationship and how couples deal with this is indicative of how successful their relationship will ultimately be.
Be the Originator of Adventure or Fun – Being experimental, exploratory and curious are important qualities we should continue to implement into our relationships. This doesn’t have to be a daily occurrence or even weekly but having a sense of adventure, not taking everything too seriously and being the originator of something new or creative is important to maintaining any healthy relationship.
Remember sometimes attraction can turn to dislike or even hate, so enjoy the early stages but be prepared to work hard thereafter, after all, all good things are worth working for!